Behaviour, Relationships and Culture: What School Leaders Need to Know Now
As school leaders, we are all too familiar with the ongoing challenges around behaviour, relationships and school culture. Despite the best efforts of educators across the country, the latest evidence makes one thing clear: behaviour and relationships in schools are not where we want them to be.
But while the data might feel heavy, it also brings into focus where we can make the most meaningful impact. By building schools where pupils feel safe, relationships matter and behaviour is understood as communication, not just compliance, we can strive to improve the experience for all.
What the Data Tells Us
According to the latest National Behaviour Survey (2024) and other reports (Scottish Government, DfE, NASUWT), we’re seeing increasing inconsistencies across four key areas:
- Behaviour policy
- School environment and experience
- Prevalence of misbehaviour
- Responses to behaviour
Despite behaviour policies being in place, only 19% of teachers and 18% of pupils say rules are applied fairly all of the time. And while most leaders say their schools are calm and orderly, the percentage has fallen from 92% to 70% in just two years.
Worryingly, 76% of teachers report that misbehaviour interrupts teaching regularly, with 7 minutes lost in every half hour. Confidence in dealing with misbehaviour is declining too, especially among senior leaders.
Rising Needs, Shrinking Capacity
Since 2010, the number of pupils identified with special educational needs and disabilities (SEND) has grown significantly with 1.7 million pupils now recorded as having SEN (DfE, 2024). Many are entering classrooms with complex emotional and social needs, but without the necessary provision to support them.
At the same time, exclusions are increasing, particularly for persistent disruption. Pupils with SEN, those in receipt of free school meals (FSM), and children from certain minority ethnic groups are still far more likely to be excluded and often unfairly labelled as "poorly behaved."
Relationships: The Missing Piece?
Among the noise around behaviour, one message stands out: positive, caring and respectful relationships are the bedrock of any meaningful behaviour strategy.
Recent research shows that relationships matter more than we sometimes realise. According to Self-Determination Theory (Ryan & Deci, 2000), three psychological needs drive wellbeing and motivation:
- Competence - feeling capable
- Autonomy - having choice and voice
- Relatedness - feeling connected and valued
When these needs are met in school through strong relationships, pupils thrive. When they’re not, we see anxiety, disconnection and disengagement.
Emotional Contagion and Mattering
Relationships aren’t one-way. Studies show that teachers’ emotions, such as frustration, joy and stress, directly impact pupils through what psychologists call "emotional contagion" (Frenzel et al., 2021).
We also know that children do better when they feel like they matter, including when they feel noticed, heard and important. This isn’t a fluffy concept. Research by Flett (2022) and others shows that "mattering" is a core psychological need, and that its absence is linked to anxiety, disengagement and even violence.
Pupil Voice Without Tokenism
In the last decade, there’s been a growing push for pupil voice, but not all approaches are equal. Tokenistic surveys or "pupil councils" without real power can actually reinforce existing inequalities.
Instead, schools should aim for authentic, dialogic partnerships where pupils are co-creators of their school culture and not just consumers. This requires trust and a willingness to examine our own assumptions as educators.
Culture First, Systems Second
School culture and "feel" of a school is what makes or breaks any behaviour system. Culture is shaped by leadership, trust, consistency and the quality of human connection.
Transformational leadership practices, as shown by Wilson Heenan et al. (2023), foster collaboration, inclusion and a shared sense of purpose. Leaders who prioritise relational trust over rigid control tend to see longer-term improvements in behaviour and attendance.
Aligned to the 2025 Ofsted Toolkit, these audits are a great starting point when exploring your school culture.
Restorative Practice: One Approach, Many Benefits
One model gaining traction is restorative practice, which focuses on repairing relationships and addressing harm rather than simply punishing poor behaviour. The evidence suggests it can:
- Reduce aggression and disciplinary sanctions
- Improve relationships between staff, pupils and families
- Address inequalities in how behaviour is treated across different groups
- Support psychological wellbeing and sense of belonging
What School Leaders Can Do Now
Here are five meaningful actions to consider:
- Review consistency in your behaviour systems. Is what’s written on paper actually happening in classrooms?
- Collect real pupil voice. Not for inspection, but to listen deeply and act. What are your pupils saying and feeling?
- Focus on mattering. Do your pupils feel seen and valued? Do your staff?
- Invest in relational CPD. Build confidence and language around conflict, connection and care. What training do your staff need?
- Lead with values. Behaviour doesn’t start with rules, it starts with culture. What is the real "feel" of your school if you take a step back?
If you're looking for staff CPD to support dealing with behavioural issues, we have an array of budget friendly in-house staff training materials, including:
